Two Page Commentary on the Offensive Paper

Dear Student:
After reading the introduction paragraph I was expecting a discussion of man's perception of women and why a woman should be "chosen". What "story or incident" prompted this discussion? What work (or works) are these ideas based on? I was unclear about what "story or incident" prompted you to address the issues of man's perception of woman and why a woman should be chosen.

Paragraph 2
I was confused here; after reading this paragraph I expected a discussion of the disadvantages of thin women. How does this tie in man's perception of women, why a woman should be chosen, or the "story or incident" you are discussing?

Paragraph 3
Where was God headed? What incident(s) in the Bible reveal where God was headed? Why are man's choices filled with sin? Why should man change "if God is forever watching him"?

Paragraph 4
What are "all the perfect genes"? I was confused by the term "new self". Could you explain "Eve's new self", especially in relation to her old self? The contemporary example of GLOW painted a clear visual picture. I had a clearer picture of Eve.

Paragraph 5
"After Adam and Eve at of the tree of knowledge", why was only Eve changed forever? Could you add support from the Bible of Eve's frame before and after she sinned?

Paragraphs 6,7, and 9
If a woman is "small figured" is she automatically "less intelligent"? Are there any "less intelligent" big women? What is the difference between lust and love? Does love deal with "having children or finding companionship"? Could you elaborate [on] "paintings of old"? Did you have any particular artist or painter in mind?

Paragraph 10
I was confused by the phrase "responsible for this". Responsible for man's change in desires, man's disregard of big women, or pre-renaissance paintings? Why do small women offer more sin? After reading the last sentence I expected to hear more about "know one really knows why people are attracted to anything". Does this effect your contention that man is attracted to thin women because of lust and love of dominance?

This paper grabbed my attention from the beginning and held it. The use of varied examples, from art to contemporary (such as Glow) and other writer added to the essay. I was confused, however, about which "story or incident" you were analyzing for your paper. What does this "story or incident" teach the reader? Is the incident from Genesis or The Inferno? If you have any questions, please contact me.

Renee Macbeth

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