NU YOURK, juwn nighn.

to mister Wilyam T. Porter esq., sir :—i hav bin a goin to rite to you for sum time sins, but diddent xactly no weather to do it or not, but i thot at last i woud tel yer bout 2 or 3 Littel things at the races wich you dident sea, bein so bissy with the races, and i want too do anuther thing : i want 2 kill 2 burds with wun stun, as the sayin is ; i want 2 korect a disrepresentashum as has bin a goin round about me. i am the boy wot wins all the 3 Cent matches round the fowntin in the park. i am the wun as the ‘ sundy atlas’ called ‘ the boy with the wentillated trowsers’ and as how i wus a ‘ paper boy,’ i dont no wat he menes by ‘wentillated trowsers,’ but i want fur 2 let him no as i aint no ‘ paper boy ;’ not by no menes, and konsekwently, also, as i kin skin the hide oph uv any ‘ paper boy’ runnin, as i am a 10 pin boy.

i seed u at the races—i diddent see noboddy els—i node u cos ive seed u in our ally ; i wont tell you wot ally it is. we takes the ‘ sperrets ov the times’ and i redes it wen i aint a settin up pins, i red in wun about “ the 11 strike” [2] and i think it served the boy jest rite ; he oughter a kep his eye skinned.

wen i wus readin bout the races i red bout the ‘ outsiders :’ now, mister Porter i wus ov the outsiders till i seed a brake made in the fens and then i was a insider, but i tore my seat of my trowers wus en ever a gittin thro, so i was amost in a “ State of nudertity,’ (i think the newpaper editurs calls it,) behind ; u sed Fashun was ‘ tucked up behind’ so as she kudent run ; i wanted 2 be ‘ tucked up behind’ and i kud a run a good eal better, which goes fur to show the diffens atween a hors and a 10 pin boy wich has his trowsers tord.

i yuster take the ‘ sportin kronicle,’ and i was sorry wen it stopt cos it yuster have in about dog fites, and sparrin xebishins, and kok-fites. ive got a wun eyed pup as kin lick amost anything ov his wate, but as i was a sayin, when i seed in the ‘ sperret’ as the big race wus a comin of, ses i to myself, ‘ windy,’ ses i, (the boys calls me ‘ windy’) u must be there, sure, but u see ide a jist bin spendin all the munny i had fur a gaim rooster and i wus hard up, but i thot i must beg or borrer or steel my way over or di,so i goes down 2 the south ferry, and ses i 2 miself, ile try 2 go ‘ with a hook,’ but i diddent mene as the boys genally manes wen tha ses ‘ with a hook,’ so i seed the passage way opin and i tryd to take she shady side ov a wagin wat wus a goin thro, jist to keep outer the sun, but the ferry man he sees me and snakes me out agin, so i was amost in despare, wen i seed a gentelem wot was a dismountin down of uv his horse to toddy in frunt uv a liker shop, and i dont no, mister Porter, but i think i warked up to him rather quick : here, boy, ses he, hold my hors ; so i did and wen he kumd out he guv me a shillin and i was hunk, and i kross over the ferry and after a warkin about a haf uv a mile i kut behind a klam wagin and got to the kose that way.

wen i got 2 the kose i seed some thimble riggers wot was a tryin to suck in a grean lookin kustomer, but he wassent a grean wun, for i seed him in Balltimore wen i was there, and i knode he wus a regular brooser and i knode thered be sum fun, for he was jist kok’d fur enuf 2 go of soons he was tuched, so the thimble riggers kep a movin the thimbles about first under wun thimble and then under anuther and kep a offerin to Elizabeth any American, French, English, or German gentleem, jist five, ten or fifteen dollars they kudent tell ware the littel joker was, and saying, as tha put him away so slick, that time they diddent actilly no ware he was thereselfs, and at last wun ov the pigins he ses to the Balltimore man, ses he, you bet him, i seed ware he put it that time, and ile go you haves in the bet ; no, ses the Balltimore man, ses he, lookin verry green—no, ses he, i dont like to bet on that air game fur ive hard say as how peeple lost on it, but ile tell u wot i will do, and the thimble riggers eyes agin to sparkle, for he thort as he was a goin to make sumthin—ile jist bet you five dollars that—ile floor you the fust lick, ses he, quicks lightnin and lendin the pigin a go long in the neck as made him turn the most kompletest summerset i ever seed even in a cirkus, and maybe there wassent sum roarin around there, and wen they kum to look for the ‘ green’ man, as u say bout horses sumtimes, he wassent no ware ; but it was all dun so quik it perfecly stonished the krowd, but i seed him afturwords a playin on the swet bord and a drinkin a punch evry five minits and a winnin munny like the mischiff and a swettin like thunder ; i lost thre sents on the swet bord and wun fifty sents a pitchin pennys and lost a shillin on Fashun !

i seed a irishman bet a duchman a dollar on Fashun, wich in korse the irishman lost, and sed he’d hav to wark down to the ferry, but i seed the duchman on the kors wen i was a kummin hoam, and wen the man kum around for the munny the duchman guv him the dollar wot he wun frum the irishman and ses the man, this here’s a puter dollar : mine cot, ses the duchman i win him frum irishman on de race—de dam raskal sheat me : never mind, ses the man, ses he, youm got another doller, in korse, else yu kudent a bet ; o yes, but mine cot, mine ish a bad wun too !

so now, mister Porter, i shill hav to bring this pistil to a kloas, as i aint got no more time as sum jentlemens is a jist a goin to role as i have got to set up pins, so no more frum yure most steamed and rispecktable serwent.


Source: New York Spirit of the Times 15.16 (14 June 1845): 177. University of Virginia Alderman Library.

Erin Bartels prepared this typescript.

[1] The setting is clearly outside the frontier, but the language of the "correspondent" is as outrageous as any Southwestern backwoodsman and is rendered in a nearly identical manner.
[2] Original text has single quotation mark here.

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