"Bad Spelling"[no title given in original]

We have encountered a deal of bad spelling in our day, but it never fell to our lot to receive any thing quite so formidable in that kind as the following, which “ climbs the cap-max,” since it actually out-Yellowplushes Yellowplush. The letter was addressed from Mississippi to a distinguished dentist in Boston, from whom it has been obtained by a friend for our “ use and behoof.” It lay in the Boston post-office five or six weeks, where the direction elicited the occasional study of the post-master and his clerks ; until at length, in a moment of inspiration, an official Champollion discovered the real name ; yet half-doubtingly, as an inscription in pencil sufficiently evinces : “Supposed to mean Dr. B----, the dentist.” The hand writing of the whole utterly defies description. It has no punctuation, and the capitals are exceedingly sparse. The letter, which was sealed with a “ blob” of something that looks like tamerack or hemlock gum, is unmistakeably genuine, and is now “ on view” at our sanctum:

“tu doktur B—— tuth-doktur in bostun masychoosits

“J—il, missisypi march11

“ dere Sur wen i wos in bostun last spring u sodderd up a holler tuth wich aked orlmity bad miss L—— has got tu teth wich is orlso holler——sum konsideribil holes in um jest as u remembur wos in mine afore u soderd um now as mister V—— our kounti taksgathur is a kalkerlatin to put fur ure diggins toomorrer, i arst him tu korl an git sum of the soddir so i ken plug um up, kos sheze a-yellin like a bar kort in a trap—getin no slepe nites no moer than a skaird paintur mister V— wil pa u for the soddir wen he gits it ure servunt n— L— miss L— woad like a tuth skrubir as she karnt git none nerer than Nachese hante no wa tu send thar orlso she wood like tu no if ule cend sumthin fur her gooms wich is soar mister V— wil pa u fur ure trubbel wen he korls for the sodir, kos i gin him the munny tu.”

Source: New York Spirit of the Times 15.30 (20 September 1845): 346. University of Virginia Alderman Library.

Erin Bartels prepared this typescript.